I can’t believe I’m able to say this! I’m moving out of state! This is something I’ve longed for and fantasized about for years already. I’m only 21 (soon to be 22) but I’ve never been the biggest fan of the state I’ve grown up in. I’m from Indiana, and while I do plan to get a tattoo of an ear of corn (yes, you read that correctly) to pay homage to my home state and the fact that I’m a Hoosier, I’m not all that crazy about it. They call it the Crossroads of America for a reason. Nobody stops here. Indiana is flat and boring. Nothing to do, full of cornfields! Hence the reason I plan on getting a corn tattoo.
I envisioned myself trapped here, never being able to afford to relocate. Stuck in this boring state that doesn’t feel at home to me forever. My anxiety is probably the main culprit in making me feel this way–I discuss my anxiety and the challenges it brings me a lot, and big life changes is definitely something it gets in the way of. Moving away from here seemed like a far away dream. At first I had no idea where I’d want to go. I knew one thing I wanted, though; somewhere it doesn’t snow! Winter is my least favorite season, I hate the cold. My ideal temperature would be between 75-95F.
I began thinking about moving to Nevada, near Las Vegas more specifically. This seemed like a great place to move for my future career moves; there are several models located in Vegas I could collaborate with, as well as some production companies, legal brothels and more. The career possibilities I’d have there would be virtually endless. Vegas even had the weather I’m looking for. Something I hadn’t been thinking about, though, is that I’ve never experienced an intense dry heat. The summers where I’m from are very humid, and dry winters already give me a bloody nose and wreak havoc on my skin. I began to think Nevada may not be the move for me.
Next, I was considering Florida. This was my ideal location from the start. Hot, hot weather and it’s where my happy place is. I’m obsessed with the Harry Potter theme park in Universal Studios. Not only that, but I’d be able to see my Daddy Dom, who’s owned me for two years, more easily. The only problem–it’s more expensive than Las Vegas, which is already more expensive than my current location! Indiana has one of the lowest living costs in all of the US. Thinking about a sizable increase in bills that I would be paying all on my own made my anxiety flare up right away.
Money and finances have always been something that caused me anxiety. When I was a teenager and first got a job I didn’t think about it, I’d blow all of my money! But when I was 19 I began taking my finances and savings very seriously. I began building my credit score and quickly racked up over 3,000 dollars in savings. Oddly enough, the more I saved the more nervous I became about finances and spending. I’d often end up convincing myself I couldn’t afford things, I wouldn’t make enough to pay them off, etc. Naturally this anxiety and negative thinking crept into my mind when I started to consider fulfilling such a big dream of mine.
But here I am now, approved for a new one bedroom apartment in Florida! So close to Universal studios that I’ll be able to visit whenever my heart desires. I’m so incredibly stoked and super proud of myself for this accomplishment. I’m planning to move in the summer and I cannot wait! I had been applying to apartments for about a month now, but didn’t talk about it to too many people; I didn’t want them to be excited for me if I ended up not getting approved for anything! The fear of that was terrible, thinking I’d be “stuck” in my current state because I couldn’t afford pricey central Florida. I told myself to think of all the things I’ve already accomplished! At just 21 I’ve already been moved out of my parents’ place for three years, I’ve become self employed, traveled to multiple states, taken the vacation of my dreams… I always doubt myself immensely despite everything I’ve done, but I knew deep down if I just tried and worked for it I could make this dream come true too.