I’ve always been of the mind that an element of “wrongness” makes sex hotter, which is something that many folks agree with but are not always willing to admit. From the time I was a teenager I was reading erotica centered around scenarios involving siblings messing around (despite not having siblings myself), school bullies blackmailing me for sex, daughters teasing their daddies until they just can’t take it anymore, and so much more that I found incredibly shameful to find sexy at the time. Thankfully, these days I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to be aroused by things that are immoral outside of fantasy/roleplay. Rather than acting out these fantasies unethically, I’ve found ways to channel my interests into roleplay videos and my porn interests.
I know that for me and a lot of my sex worker friends, taboo content is some of the most fun for us to make. I genuinely find it exhilarating when I find a submissive begging to pay me to blackmail him on social media, or when a custom video customer wants me to create a roleplay centered around a stepsister’s feet. For the most part, I’m aware that people’s fantasies are much different than reality, and I can easily distance myself from feeling like any fantasies I’m paid to fulfill are remotely unethical. Despite feeling quite confident in my own deviance, I’ve still run into some surprising ethical qualms of my own throughout my relatively short time in this industry.
The first is my knowledge that the majority of my clients have partners who are unaware of my existence. The reality is that so many people watch porn without their partner’s approval, and that’s what many people find arousing about interacting with my OnlyFans page in the first place. After many conversations with other sex workers on my podcast, Off the Cuffs, it seems as though something we all have in common is that our customers come to us because they feel that something they desire is lacking in their life, and often times they’re buying our content because they’re not getting all of their kinks and fetishes met in their day-to-day lives. Whether they’re afraid to talk to their partners, are too ashamed to admit their interests, have faced rejection from partners in the past… whatever the reason might be, the truth is that much of our client-base are hiding their interests and porn consumption from people close to them.
For example, I recently spoke with Sitara Smith, a hairy femdom goddess who mentioned that most of her clients are men with girlfriends or wives who refuse to grow out their body hair. Similarly, I assume that a lot of my clients feel some sort of lack in some aspect of their relationship and/or sex life, and they’re looking for something I have. That’s why sex workers often try to find niches—whether it’s exaggerated features, tiny features, kinks/fetishes, tattoos, looking clean-cut… people who buy porn tend to want what they don’t have.
No matter which way you cut it, in the adult industry, you’ll have to grapple with your ethical boundaries. It’s important to at least consider what type of content you aren’t okay with making, words you’re not comfortable using, and the like. However, if you’re not okay with delving into some aspects of the taboo, this may not be the industry for you—at a certain point, you’ll likely face requests on a daily basis for things that you’d probably consider unethical outside of porn.
My outlook is that despite a huge amount of my clients approaching me outside the bounds of their relationship(s), if I wasn’t selling content, it wouldn’t fix the fact that many relationships lack openness and honesty, and many people satisfy their wants/needs with porn. If they weren’t buying it from me, they’d be buying it from the next creator. And as far as taboo kinks, despite having personal limits, I believe that roleplay is a way to play with taboos in a safe, nondestructive way.
There’s also a sense of joy and power for me in being handed over control and consent in a situation I’d likely never be able to indulge in outside of sex work. In my day-to-day life, I live in a way that I consider relatively responsible and harmless. In the confines of my work, however, you can bank on me taking pleasure in getting paid to roleplay obliterating a man’s balls, hypnotizing someone to be addicted to only my ass, and taking all the tips my submissive gets on his nude photos.
People might see something wrong with this way of making money and the fact that I even participate in these things. To those people, I say, it’s fine if making porn isn’t for you. From my perspective, I see opportunities to have fun and profit off of an industry, kinks, and fetishes that aren’t going to go away no matter how hard anyone tries.
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Gwen (Bidaily) is a porn creator and podcaster. She talks about her own wide variety of kinks and fetishes on the Off the Cuffs: a Kink & BDSM Podcast, such as disgust/gross play, D/s dynamics, alien creature roleplays, bodily fluids, and taboo kinks. Follow her on socials, buy her content, listen to the podcast!
